WARNING: What you're about to read is very effective. Hence I don't want those who intend to harm or hurt women to use this. If you intend to hurt women please stop reading. I mean it. STOP right here
Building a rapport with women is the second stage in the attraction level and most men find it difficult to move past it, they just hit a dead zone. Just like the teller machine when it no longer has any cash to dispense, leaving the woman frustrated. Same happens when you can’t hold a conversation with a woman. But that would be a thing of the past once you’re able to read through this article.
If you've ever watched Blind Date, I'm sure you've seen or experienced these two types of dates:
Date A: Conversation goes well. Guy and girl are talking and no awkward silences. These are usually the ones where both say they want a 2nd date
Date B: Conversation doesn't go well. Guy and girl talk a little, but it's just random questions here and there and full of awkward silences. These dates don't usually lead to a 2nd. The girl always says she didn't feel they made any type of connection.
If you're out with a girl, she needs to feel that you and her are connected on a personal level. This connection leads to attraction or builds on it.
But most guys can't carry a conversation. They have no idea what to say, they ask a question, the girl answers, then they sit there looking around like a broken alarm clock because they ran out of questions. The girl thinks the guy is boring, dull, and unable to handle the simplest of tasks.
Girls love to talk, but they will toss you aside if you can't keep them interested with a basic conversation.
If you have being able to intrigue the lady, it’s time to create a rapport, as well as sustain it. Every human loves the feeling of importance, we want to talk about ourselves, the battles we have won, the heights we have attained and it’s no different when it comes to keeping a rapport with a woman.
You need to understand that every woman loves to talk about herself and loves stories. You don’t have to be super smart to get a conversation going with a woman if you can understand these two things and how to apply them. Please, don’t go out there and start throwing questions upon questions on her as she will get pissed. No woman wants to feel as though she’s being interrogated. However, you only need to apply a twist to this.
Truth is, having a girl talk about herself by asking questions is one of the best ways to maintain your mystery. 80-90% of our communication is done non-verbally. Your body language is extremely important because it says more than you think. When you're talking to a girl, keep eye contact. Don't sit there staring at her chest or looking around the room at other people. Don't look like someone with a short attention span.
Tone is also very important. How you say something is more important than what you actually say.
Words, tone and body language make up a conversation. But words are the least of the 3. Keep in mind tone and body language will actually deliver what you're saying.
You need to know that you’re responsible for the emotions you project onto a woman and are in total control of every rapport. This is why the cube game which I talked about in my group (relationship and dating matters with Jonathan melody) is the fastest way to create an instant connection and build up emotions in her.
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Take a genuine interest in what she's saying. Don't try to fake it. When she tells you she spent 3 months in Abuja during her summer vacation, don't say, "That's cool." That's a big thing. Ask her about it. What did she like about the place? Where in Abuja did she spend her time? What differences are there between Abuja and Lagos (assuming that's her permanent place residence)? You could talk to her for hours just about her trip.
Ok, now let's get into some techniques and tips for holding or initiating conversation.
1. Always be aware of your surroundings!
Some of the best conversation starters are based on what's going on around you. Maybe something funny happened, maybe there's a guy that looks like Hanks Anuku. Maybe the girl dropped her cell phone in water. Whatever is going on around you, learn to use it to your advantage.
Ways to practice this:
When you go out, look for things happening to people or in your surroundings. Then, approach anyone (guy or girl) and talk to him or her about it. Make it seem smooth and if you can, funny. Then, let that lead to more conversation. This is probably the best way to do a Cold Approach(an approach to someone you've never met).
2. Use open-ended questions
It’s no news at this point that women love talking, especially about themselves. Asking a woman questions about herself will help you gather enough information to increase her attraction level for you through seduction.
Don't come up sounding like a robot configured to ask questions and risk turning her off.
Be genuinely interested in what she tells you and mirror her expressions and gestures and speech patterns but don’t be obvious about it.
See these conversations below;
I want to assume you have passed the intrigue stage of getting her interested
You: what do you do for fun?
Her: reading and playing chess
You: Do you always play chess?
You: That’s Nice
Now I want to go through that same conversation with a little twist to it.
You: So tell me, what do you do for fun?
Her: Reading and playing chess
You: that sounds awesome! You must be a walking library and a goddess of chess. Played in a championship?
Her: Hahaha, you’re funny. I always wanted to but time and my job wouldn’t allow me. I work in a bank as a marketing officer and that takes a chunk out of my time. Do you do anything for fun?
You: Yes I do and that’s talking to you(she’s going to blush at this) and what feelings exactly do you derive from playing chess?
Her: Playing chess relaxes my nerves and turns on my thinking cap. If you understand what I mean?
You: Hell no I don't! Tell me, what do you me by thinking cap?
Can you see the direction of the two conversations? You act like you’re interested. Because when you do, she will tell you more without asking. And the cube game will make her appear like an open book and you get to read into her desires and needs.
Tip: The harder a woman works on building rapport with you, the more you’re going to be worth to her
3. Listen to Her!
I'm sure you've all heard women complain about guys that don't listen. If you ask the girl the proper questions and just sit back and listen, she'll tell you exactly how to seduce her.
She'll tell you what she looks for, what she likes, and what she doesn't like. You guide the conversation then use this so you know what she wants to hear and how she wants to hear it. If any of you have ever done sales, you'll know what I'm talking about. Always let the customer talk first and they'll tell you what they want to hear. (The cube method is the fastest way to achieve this without her even knowing)
Girls like guys who can keep them interested. Try to keep the conversation different. Take risks. Talk to her about stuff other guys usually wouldn't; you'll stick in her mind. Watch the news so you know what's going on in the world. You can use that to get opinions out of her if you need something to talk about.
One more technique, which is a little more advanced, is using statements instead of questions. This isn't to carry a conversation, it's just a technique you can use to change things up a bit and display a lot of confidence.
Are you tired of meeting weird guys?
=> You must be tired of meeting weird guys.
What school did you go to?
=> So tell me what school did you graduate from
How was your day?
=> Tell me about your day
They usually start with
"It must be..."
Statements they take a position and a risk.Saying, "I'm not interested in a long-term relationship right now" is taking a risk.
Making these statements shows her your courage and confidence instead of being a guy who sits back and asks safe questions. It also gives you more control because you're telling her to tell you something, not asking her nicely (but stating it isn't rude either). This is where a little bit of negging when used with the cube game works magic. She'll be telling you how much fun she had at the end of the date or how you get to know so much about her which instantly increases your value in her eyes and shoots her attraction for you up.
The Cube game is something of a mystery. It is the Holy Grail in getting women drawn to you instantly. But few men know about it and how to use it.
You don't need Q-Cards to keep a conversation going or building a connection. Just go with what she says and build on it. It's as easy as that.
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From My Heart To You
Author, Graphic Artist, Peak Performance Coach, and Entrepreneur