This is The Real Reason Why You’ll Remain Stuck In The Friend Zone
So guys, the other day I just got back from work totally hungry from hours spent in the Lagos traffic. If you live in Lagos you’ll understand better.
Anyway, I got home and was about settling down after taking my bath to munch the Spiced indomie noodles I had bought in my way back home. Life of a bachelor *sigh*I was just a few spoons into the meal when I head rather a subtle knock on my door. No I wasn’t expecting any female visitor tonight I thought to myself.
So I reluctantly stood to check who it was. It was my very good friend, Ojo, looking so depressed as though he just lost his job.“Guy wetin happen? You well so?” I asked him. That was when he started talking.
There’s this girl he has been talking to for the last 3 months. He has been sending her money and taking care of her needs thinking they were dating.He told the girl he loves her and that was when she said she only sees him as a big brother.
He tried to convince her, explaining how much he loves her, but the result? She blocked him on all social handles and blacklisted his number.
All this time I listened patiently and when he was through, I asked him “Did you treat her like a lover would?” He just kept looking at me. Finally, he was able to speak. “What do you mean, ‘treat her like my lover?’ Is there a special way?”Alright.
Hearken to my words, guys.In case, you’re thinking spoiling her with gifts and money will automatically boy you the boyfriend ticket, let me burst your bubble.
You see my friend, today I have decided to share with you the real reason you’re still stuck in the friend zone and might remain there forever if you don’t do anything about it.
What is the reason?
I call it the “Nice guy effect” Yes, you’re being too nice to her. When you bend to a woman and go along with her every demand, she starts seeing you as a weak man who can’t stand up for himself.
You’ve become her go to therapist, that each time she has guy problem you’re the first person she calls for advice.
You’re putting her on a pedestal that forces you to dissatisfy yourself, just to make her happy. You can’t miss her calls. How dare you? “She’s too awesome to be ignored,” you tell yourself.
And the many other sundry things you do for her, so she thinks, “Oh, he’s a nice guy!”Here’s food for thought my Kings.Ladies are players too. Yes you heard that right. And they want to know that they have to put in some effort to deserve you.
If a guy is too obvious with his feelings, more often than not, they get freaked out and demote him. It’s basic human psychology.
Women are wired to gravitate towards men who are leaders, and protectors. They want a man who gets his way no matter what others may think or feel.A man who always capitulates to what his woman or his would-be woman wants, does and says is a man that will get friend-zoned, or get cheated on if he is already in a relationship.
Learn to say “no” to her from time to time.
You think she’s Queen Elizabeth and her feet needs to be oiled since she’s the best thing after sliced bread? So much you start ignoring every other woman you come across.
Then, you try to convince yourself thinking, “I’m only being a gentleman” Guys, save yourself this stress and failure point.
If you do this on a regular, you’re simply not being aware you’re becoming too easy and boring and a plain open book to her.
Thing is, she knows everything about you, where you go, who you hang out with, what you do. So, she tells herself “what is there to find out?” Like children who get bored with toys they are familiar with and seek a new toy, so women seek new things.
Now that you have identified the main reason why you’re in the friendzone, how do you get out without losing your soul? Inside “Escape the friendzone” I gave practical techniques you can apply starting today so you can successfully leave the friendzone and make her fall deeply in love with you.
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